We’re All Establishment Now

The 2016 Republican Party of Virginia’s Convention overflowed with intrigue and silliness (as I imagine is often the case with conventions – and I’ll play along), culminating in victories for RPV Chairman John Whitbeck, Committeewoman Cynthia Dunbar, Committeeman Morton Blackwell, 10 Cruz National Delegates, and 3 Trump National Delegates. This made only a few folks completely happy, but none of us supported conventions in the first place, so there is some delicious irony to chew on – if you are still hungry at this time of night.

During the early morning speeches on Saturday, we heard from many Republican Leaders from across Virginia that the elites and the elected are not the Republican Party – the Grassroots are the true power in these Republican waters. We also heard from nearly every Republican who spoke about their own grassroots bono fides. For anyone wondering why I mention this – over the last fifteen years, the word “conservative” has been applied to Dave Brat, Eric Cantor, The Bull Elephant, and Bearing Drift. In other words, the word “conservative” doesn’t mean anything. I’m afraid to say, it would appear that the term “grassroots” has also lost its’ meaning. That’s “O.K”. Meaning is an establishment term meant to disenfranchise populist candidates and Bernie will tell you all about it.

While the early morning Saturday speeches were brought to you by the word “grassroots”, the evenings’ events and balderdash were brought to you through a loud, slobbering, almost incompressible brickbat scream of “ESTABLISHMENT! ESTABLISHMENT!”.

Dozens of Trump supporters, protesting the heavily-Cruz national delegate slate, attempted to squat the front rows of the Conventions’ VIP sections. At the center of the mob was local radio host John Fredericks and shouts of “ESTABLISHMENT!” were levied at the likes of Ken Cuccinelli, Shak Hill, and Ted Cruz (who was not present). If Ken Cuccinelli and Bill Bolling are both establishment, and if Shak Hill and Ed Gillespie are both establishment, and if Senator Ted Cruz and Governor Jeb Bush are both establishment, then I think it is safe to say….


In fact, if I learned anything over the weekend, it is that everyone other than Donald Trump is GOPe. After all, Donald Trump’s anti-establishment history is well documented! He has financed grassroots Republican after conservative Republican incumbent in their pursuit of destroying both the establishment-insider Independent and TEA Party challengers. If this confuses you – if you think that would sound establishment, it isn’t – because Donald Trump is a businessman.

You see, businessmen who buy politicians aren’t establishment. They are actually for the little guy.

The little guy cannot afford to buy Nancy Pelosi in order to make Trumps’ Companies Great Again, which is all the grassroots, all the TEA Party, and, truly, all any American is really concerned about. We can’t protect Senator Pat Roberts from the Establishment TEA Party attacks. We’re too poor. Trump on the other hand can afford it. The Establishment folks backing those crazy left wing conservatives like Chris McDaniel and Matt Bevin couldn’t have been defeated by the average blue collar, planned parenthood supporting, church attending activist. We needed Trump to keep Mitch McConnell in power, for the little guy. Without wealthy businessmen like Donald Trump, left-wing Constitutionalists might have taken out right-wing conservative and principled-grassroots activists like Senator Thad Cochran in a primary in Mississippi.

So, tonight, I would like to officially declare my establishment credentials. I support the likes of Ken Cuccinelli and Shak Hill and their establishment attempts at taking out the grassroots upstarts on Capital Hill and here in Richmond, Virginia.

Oh, and words, even the best words, the best words from the best people, and I know all the best people, believe me, look at my hands – have no meaning. Nothing is everything, everything is nothing, unity is independence, and obedience is freedom – and today, we’re all establishment. Except Trump. He’s a billionaire grassroots conservative we can believe in. If you don’t- welcome to the new establishment. It’s getting weird out here.

In other news: It is now perfectly acceptable to refer to watermelon as rock salt.