I have officially been through with Donald Trump since August 8th, 2015. Sure, there were a couple weeks where I was laughing too hard to oppose the guy; and let’s not fool ourselves, Donald Trump has given us all reason to laugh. Trump let us laugh at the Republican Party, at the media, at some of the establishment candidates that none of us can stand, and, yes, he caused us to laugh just a little bit at Donald Trump himself.
Many people I respect are committed to Donald Trump, so I am not going to come right out and bash Trump’s supporters… directly. I understand that they are angry. They see Trump leading in the polls, the see all the people they hate lining up against him, and it just feels right to them.
You see, for many Republican voters, the Republican Party is rather like an ex-girlfriend – an ex-girlfriend that cheated on them, lied to them, stole their Ford F150 and got it on with the kind of man they know they’re better than – a smarmy intellectual lightweight with tiny eyes and T-Rex arms who only has money because his daddy is a big executive for some international banking concern. That’s right, the Republican Party broke their heart, desecrated their vehicle, and betrayed them for the lowest of all possible creatures.
Donald Trump is the much more attractive younger sister of the Republican Party.
The Republican Voter is so set on revenge after the GOP broke their heart that they are going to get in bed with this much more attractive younger sister, take pictures, post them to facebook, and write a country song about it. The song becomes a number one hit and then, before a sold out crowd in Nashville, the Republican Voter thanks the Republican Party for all their success and fame, and gives them the finger one last time. TMZ captures it all.
You see, it’s that kind of story we’re dealing with here.
Most people are trying to analyze Donald Trump through some political perspective. Stop it. This has nothing to do with politics. It doesn’t even have anything to do with making America Great Again. All this is about is humiliating the Republican Party, because they deserve it.
The problem is that this sexy younger sister is bad news, and the older folks in town know it. They are telling the Republican Voter, “Hey! We get it, you’re mad, that expletive broke your heart and you want to get back at her, but her sister is bad news man”! We give sage advice, pointing out all the other men the younger sister has been with. Nasty men like Bill Clinton, Mitch McConnell, and Harry Reid. Blinded, not so much by her beauty, but by her relation to her sister, the Republican Voter misses the tramp stamp that reads, “I’m the woman Orwell warned you about”. Sadly, the more reasonable people are ignored. The dangers cannot be seen because the revenge is too damn satisfying, too exciting, and they just can’t let it go.
Only, now, we more reasonable folks are getting worried. The Republican Voter is talking about buying a ring. They want to marry the younger sister. We start freaking out, recommending shots of penicillin, calling her names, trying to besmirch her character. The Republican Voter doesn’t listen and they blow us off, because they know, that we’re just too far removed from the anger to understand.
Maybe they’re right. Maybe the Republican Party deserves this. Only, for the rest of us, we care too much about you, dear Republican Voter, to watch you take that floozy down the aisle. We know as soon as she gets that ring on her finger that she’ll make your life miserable. We know that you might hate us for telling you this, we know you might never talk to us again, but we care too much about you to remain silent while you throw your life away.
And that’s us – the slightly less angry Republican Voter – looking for a more reasonable solution to this sordid affair.